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Warning: adult themes James, 31 Last winter I was in a pit of despair. I was still a virgin at I felt unlovable and hopeless. So, in November last year, I decided to share my story on YouTube aybody expose myself completely.

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So, in November last year, I decided to share my story on YouTube and expose myself completely. I had nothing to lose. Life barely seemed worth living so I just thought, why not? I had no idea that one video would change my life completely. BBC Three James now uses his video channel to talk openly about his mental health The year-old virgin video was my way of setting the record straight and explaining how a traumatic childhood, a bad attitude when I was younger and crippling social anxiety had led me here.

I also went back over some of my major insecurities, such as feeling like if I was just two inches taller, 6ft rather than 5ft10, women would find me more attractive.

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I was what the online community of involuntary celibate incels - predominantly men who blame women for their failure to get laid - call a Kissless Handholdless, Hugless Virgin KHHV. I discovered this because, although the response to the video was largely positive and a lot of people said they could really relate to it, it also attracted the attention of incels around the world. Links to the video got posted in dark corners of the internet like 4Chan and 8Chan, forums where a lot of these women-hating guys vent their rage.

Dozens of other incel forums have sprung up all over the internet in recent years, with some recording over 40, members. Some ital the incels commenting on fucj video said things like that I should hire a prostitute to lose my virginity. Since then there have been at least three mass killings in North America linked to incel ideology. I remember coming across his YouTube channel a few years later and being really surprised that his videos - where he raged against women for rejecting him and outlined plans for his killing spree - were still up.

I admit that I watched them all. Instead, I was constantly thinking about all the things that were wrong with me. I lr felt like I was good enough for a relationship. What I thought was edgy entertainment, like a musical meme, is actually really offensive to a lot of people and could cause serious upset to the families of the victims.

I would never make something like that now. I definitely had opportunities to lose my virginity when I was younger but I had paranoia and social anxiety that stopped me.

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Looking back, I can see that my troubled childhood played a part in my mental health issues. It was a bad combination of things. My parents got divorced when I was about seven. There was a lot of shouting going on and it felt like a threatening environment.

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My dad, especially, was in a bad place back then, he became quite an angry person. My worries over my looks really kicked in when I was about My nose got broken during a snowball fight after rugby practice. It was February and the weather was freezing, and someone threw a block of ice at my face. It nearly knocked me out.

I was just standing there nearly in tears. I wanted to be a tough guy so I never told anyone about it, not even my mum. It left a big mark on my face. That healed but it left a bump on my nose. If the admin has changed the link, then the link becomes invalid. Data charges may apply. Now make a group, open group and click on three dot line. Telegram is Social Service where so many peoples meet each other.

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